Monday, January 4, 2010

Gunda Dialogues !

Dialogs from the movie Gunda.

Kafan-Chor-Neta to Lambu-Aata:
Taine gundagardi mein bahut naam kamaya,
Kabhi dushmanon ko faada, kabhi kaata,
Dikhne mein to tu naata,
Par tohar naam hai Lambu-Aata.

Lambu-Aata to Kafan-Chor-Neta:
Kaam ki baat bata, jis kaam ke liye tu Billi ka doodh peekar Dilli se aaya hai


Lambu-Aata to Kafan-Chor-Neta:
Bullaaaa ! Bulla ka naam leke tu ne mera khopdi hila diya hai
Khada Kar diya hai mera.........gusse se ek ek baal khada kar diya hai
Saale ko maine doodh pila-pila kar paala
Lekin aaj woh meri chaati chabana chahta hai, meri chaati

Kafan-Chor-Neta (shocked) to Lambu-Aata:
Kya!! Pehle toh tum donon ek hee chokri ke saath sote the,
Tu idhar se, woh udhar se.........chumma lete the

Bulla introduction:
Mera naam hai Bulla,
Rakhta hoon main Khulla

Chutiya (the hair kind) introduction:
Mera naam hai Chutiya,
Achon-achon ki main khadi karta hoon khatiya

Pote (po-tay) introduction:
Mera naam hai Pote
Jo apne baap ke bhi nahin hotay.

Ibu-Hatela Introduction:
Mera naam hai Ibu Hatela,
Maa meri chudail ke beti,
Baap mera shaitan ka chela,
(pointing downwards) Khayega kela?


Pote to Bulla and Chutiya:
Zalzala jaag chuka hai,
sab ko pata chalega ki gang-war start hone waala hai,
Laashein is tarah se tapkegi
jaise nanhe munne bacche ke nunni se pishaab tapakti hai
Tup tup !!

Ibu-Hatela to Bulla, Pote and Chutiya
Lambu-Aata ne hamare aadmi ko maarke rumaal faada hai,
Apun uska patloon faadega, who bhi peeche se……angootha laga ke.


Bulla to friends:
Pehle us Lambu-Aata ko maut ke tave par pakaana hoga


Pote to Bulla:
Arey Bulla bhai, maaro isko (Lambu-Aata's brother) aur iska garam garam khoon apne chotte bhai Chutiya ko pila do, taaki uske andar garmee aa jaye.
Ibu-Hatela chips in:
Aur shayaad uski kamar jhatke khaana chodke , jhatke maarne lage !



Lambu-Aata to his dying brother Kundan (stabbed by Bulla):
Dekh Kundan, marne ka nahin, Bagair mere pooche marne ka nahin,
Agar tu mar gaya to main maje kiske saath karega?
Yaad hai, yaad hai tereko, jab hum donon college mein thay?
Tu mere se zyaada chikna tha re, tu mere se zyaada chikna tha.
Tu chokri pata ke laata tha aur main maje karta tha.
Marna nahin…Main Bulla ko jeene nahin doonga aur tereko marne nahin doonga,
Tu marna nahin mere bhai, tu marna nahin
Arey nahin…..Dum ko pakad ke rakh, mere bhai, dum ko pakad ke rakh,
Yaad hai mere bhai kundan,
Woh dhande-waali tereko yaad hai?
Jo tereko bolti thi…mere pyaare chikne kundan.
Lagaoongi tereko chandan,
Pairon ke jhoole mein jhulaake pahunchaoongi is jahaaj se London.
Yaad hai? …Aey Kundan…..Arey mara gaya re kundan !!!
Bulllaaaa…Aey Bullaaaa,
Teri bahen ka karoonga main Khullam Khullaa !


Lambu-Aata to Bulla's micro-mini-skirt clad sister Munni:
Arey Maa kasam,
Main to samjha tha ki Bulla ki behen koi bhangar ki dukaan hogee,
Saara saaman toot-phoot chuka hoga
Arey isliye to haathgaadi laya tha….
Lekin haai haai…..face Sonali, taangein Raveena aur aankhen Karishma,

Lambu-Aata to Munni (continued):
Kal Bulla Allah ko pyara ho jaayega.
Mera naam hai Lambu-Aata, sale ko doonga maut ka chaata.

Lambu-Aata to Munni (continued):
Chattri hotee hain kholne ke liye,
chaadar hotee hai odhne ke liye,
Aur chokree hotee hai chedne ke liye


Bulla crying over his raped and murdered sister Munni:
Munni ! Munni ! Munni meri behen Munni, Munni
Munni meri behen Munni, Munni
To tu mar gayee?
Lambu ne tujhe lamba kar diya?
Maachis ki teeli ko khamba kar diya?
Arey mere dil mein kya kya armaan thay tere liye.
Maine to tere liye Teen-sau chokre dekhe the…who bhi ekdma chikne,
Jo tujhe bhaata, wohi tera pati banta
Magar tu to katela gurda, yaane murda ho gayee

Shady inspector to Bulla:
Jal gaya hai badan teri behen ka,
Kar bandobast ab Lambu-Aata ke kafan ka.


Lambu-Aata to Bulla:
Roti hoti hai khaane ke liye,
Aur Boti hoti hai chabaane ke liye,
Badshaah ki behen ho ya fakir ki beti,
Ek na ek din aati hai marad ke neeche bajaane ke liye seeti

Villains to Lambu-Aata
Yeh mat bhool Lambu ki, chooha zakhmi haathi ke dum par baithkar, panja to chala sakta hai,
Lekin jab haathi ulta-sas leta hai na, to chooha 'under' ghus jaata hai.
Hum tujhe kisi dhande-waali ki us jagah ki gori chamdi bana denge,
Jo phatke kha-khake kaali ho jaati hai,
Har moonh pe maa-behen ki gaali ho jaati hai.
Tu ne mujhe nakhoon ka mail kaha tha na?
Ab hum tujhe 'Saande' ke tel laga ke maarenge


Lambu-Aata pleading for mercy to Bulla:
Bulla mereko mat maar, mat maar.
Mereko apna Bhadwa bane le,
Mai tereko ladkiyaan supply karoonga, tu maje lete reh
Tereko AIDS se bachaane ke liye nirodh ban jaaonga
Towel banker teri kamar se lapat jaaonga.
Mereko mat mar aur agar maarna hee hai
To mereko cheel-chaal ke chakka bana de
Mai saadi lapetkar dance karoonga "gore gore gaal gaal gore gore, yun na mujhe daal daal dore dore dore dore"

Bacchu Bhigauna to Bulla:
Bulla, tu ne khullam khulla Lambu-Aata ko maut ke tave mein senk diya,
Uski laash ko Worli ke gutter mein phenk diya


Kala Shetty to Shankar:
kaun hai be tu?
Shankar to Kala Shetty:
Main hoon jurm se nafrat karne waala,
Sharifon ke liye jyoti, gundon ke liye jwaala
Kala Shetty replies:
Tujhe banakar maut ke moonh ka nivala
Tere seene mein gaadh doonga main maut ka bhaala


Pote to Shankar:
Hum yahaan ke dada hai Shankar,
Zyaada badbad karke apni zindagi mein maut ki gadbad mat kar


Introduction of Shanker's sister's husband:
Yeh hai woh ladka,
Jo haseenaon ke dil ki daal mein maske ka lagata hai tadka


Chutiya to Bulla (who has just had sex with Haseena the prostitute) :
Wah Bulla bhai , wah
Nikal diya Haseena ka paseena,
Kya kushti ladte hain aap, mujhe bhi kushti ladnee hai.

Chutiya to Bulla:
Main toh gas ka woh cylinder hoon, jo ekdam khaali hai
Fir gas ke choolhe se aag kaise nikalegi?
Main honeymoon kaise manaoonga?
Bulla Replies:
Manaayega. (Giving him a tablet) Tere undar aag bhar degi yeh goli
Fir tu faad dega uski choli,
To jaa aur jaldi se utha de uski doli

Mithun to Bulla and co:
Jis tarah train ke aane par station kaanpne lagta hai
Usi tarah meri khauff ka bukhaar tum sab ko kaanpne par majboor kar dega

Mithun to Bulla and co:
Aaj maine tum logon ki maut ki date fix kar di hai. Yaad rakhna aaj ek tareekh hai. Do, Char, Che, Aath, Dus…Bus!!! Intezaar karna !

Lucky Chikna to Prostitute:
Kyon re paap ke paani ki machli,
Fir teri shuru ho gayi khujli?
Oopar girahak tera rasta dekh raha hai,
Aur tu neeche chikne ke saath liptam-lipti, chipkam-chipki lagayee hai eh?
Prostitute replies:
Arey who saala 60 saal ka Boodha hai, kuch karta nahin hai,
Khaali bolega - Choos Choos………meri ungli Choos
Lucky Chikna to Prostitute:
Dekh Randi Dhande ke baithi hai to
Boodha kya jawan kya, kya chotta kya bada, kya baitha kya khada,
Jaake us boodhe ko thanda karke aa

Shankar to Ibu Hatela
Aaj ke baad tujhe koi bhi Ibu Hatela nahin, Ibu Katela kahega

Shankar to Villains:
Dada baap ke baap ko kehte hain,
Aur main hoon tum sab ka Baap.

Shankar to corrupt cop Inspector Kale:
Bheegi hui cigarette kabhi jalegi nahin
Aur yeh tay hai, teri maut ki tareekh kabhi talegi nahin


Bulla and Chutiya singing and making fun of Inspector Kale's impending death:
Inspector kale,
Ab lagne waale,
Tere moonh par maut ke Tale.
Kitna bada risk hai,
Teri maut ki date fix hai


Lucky Chikna to Prostitute:
Abhi tu daat mat dikha, udhar jaa, 18 number khaat pe tera woh intezar kar rahela hai.
Prostitute replies:
Pehle Nirodh to de.
Lucky Chikna to his employee:
Arey Aey ,Nirodh Kumar, usko jaake moza de.


Bulla to Shankar's gf:
Kyon ri Shankar ki bazaaru chinaal,
Ab main chabaoonga tere yeh gore gore gaal
Ab tu dekhegi mere zulm ka halla,
Jab mai pehnaunga teri naak pe apni havas ka challa
Shankar's GF replies:
Tu aadmi nahin hai, tu hai kutte ka pilla
Tum logon ki utni hee hai zindagi, jitna hai paani ka bulbula

Bulla to crowd:
Chale jaao nahin to faad ke rakh doonga
Agar koi aage badha, yahin pe gaadh ke rekh doonga
Kyonki mere naam hai Bulla,
Aur rakhta hoon main hamesha khulla

Bulla crying over his castrated dead brother Chutiya:
Arey Chutiya, tu bhi ludak gaya!
Arey maine tere liye kya nahin kiya.
Tujhe mard banaane ke liye main London se goli mangvaayi
Tujhe ladkiyan supply karke main bhadvagiri ki ta ke tu mard bane Chutiya
Aur tu mard bana, tu mard bana Chutiya
Aur mai kitna khush hua, bol na Chutiya khush tha na mai?
Arey, abhi to tere tube mein light hee aaya tha
Aur Shankar ne tera fuse uda diya?

Shankar to Bulla:
Kasam khaakar aa gaya hai inteqam ka yeh angaara
Bajaunga aaj teri maut ka naqaara
Bulla replies:
Pehle tere maathe par hai maut ka sehra sajne wala
Fir meri gunda-gardi ka hai danka bajne wala
Shankar replies:
Desh ke dushman, tera hoga moonh kaala
Aaj Bulla ka janaza hai uthne wala

Bulla to Shankar:
Arey Shankar, mai to roz husn ki peti kholkar havas ki seeti bajata rehta hoon.

Shankar to Bulla just before killing him:
Tera naam hai Bulla,
Maut ke baad bhi tera moonh reh jaayega khulla