Angrez Movie Dialogues !

Update :  I have uploaded compilation of hydrabadi dialogs at
Part 1
hydrabadi dialouges from The Angrez - Part 1 from abhijit on Vimeo.
Part 2
hydrabadi dialouges from The Angrez - Part 2 from abhijit on Vimeo.


If you can't see embedded videos, click here - Part 1 and Part 2


After Gunda dialouges , its time for dialogues from the movie Angrez.

Saleem Pheku at Paan Dabba..
Arre... Tu mechanic hai pyjaama hai.........arey woh laal waali mercedez nakko re baawa woh safed wali toh bhi bhijwa de..bahut kaama hain re...ek to bhijaa de ..bahut kaama hain re...
Dabbawaala to Saleem : Kya mia 10 rupai kee numaish phone see bhat kare too kya sunee aatee
Saleem : Arre...yeh baat tho tumko aur merku maloom hain.. wo ladki ko kya maloom... tum paan banao ustaad.
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Jahangir
Jahangir's Mother : arre kahan jaa raha rey iflass....kitni baar bola ki bahar jaate samay nahin tokna bolke...thoda kaam sey jaroon...abhi tu kaam bhi kara jaissa hai, yeh ley thaili aur gosh leke aaa, 50 rupay hai usmein aur sun hara masala nakko bhul, pura hisab dena......
Boy to Jahangir : arre ball phek rey jhangir,
Jahangir : kya rey tum loggon ko kaam dhandha nahin ki yahan pey subha sey shyam cricket khelte rehte....
Boy to Jahangir: tu karra na, wohi bahot hai.....chal ball la....
Jahangir : kaun bola rey woh, dikhatoon ek ek ku....CHINDI CHORRON KA ADDA HOGAYA GALI...PINDEY KE MERI.
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Saleem to Jahangir : arrey pheku kisko bolra rey?
Saleem : namasthe malanna...kya smart dhikre. Arre minister ka khaas aadmi hain wo.
jahangir: kya bade gaadi pe jaara ustaad?
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Saleem and Jahangir at Mutton Shop
Saleem : kya tandurust maal haa baap, apnee koo iysech raina bap......chandka thukda hai........boti kabab hai boti kabab.......
hamaaare quadeer bhai.....yeh kali kaun hai ustad ?
Quadeer bhai : Wo meri behan hain...!
Jahangir to Saleem : kya chuthiye aadmi hain yaaron tum...wahan pe do min aur thaire tho apna ich kuchh latakta tha...
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Jahangir Falls from Saleem's scooter
kya gadhi chelararya bhei
Nayi Disk breakaa hain rey
kai ka baigan ka disk breakaa ray
Ismail bhai's first wife : arre kaun hai...salim hai!kaise hai salim..both dinon ke bad aaye ander aao na salim...
Ismail bhai's second wife : agaye tumhare avara dosta
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Ismail bhai's gang in the Hotel
Ismail Bhai : Arey thumloga phikar kaiku karrey yaron!!!!!! Ismail bhai ke patte hai, pachees saal se charminar pe baitahu , meri kuch iszad hai yaron.......dho chai tho bolo
Jahangir : parsooo dabeerpure ki ladayio mein kyaa hua maaloom....chindi haalat hui !!!!
kya hua bole tho....mein,salim,chinna,patel,zaleel,feroz ,akbal sab gaye te..... khaali latto se diye.. gap gip gap gip.
mein kyaa kara bole tho rabbar ki chappal pahanleke deewar ke paas jaake woh diya woh diya....phir akbaal ko hilaaya kya re akbaal tu bhi do bhairiyaa rak unlogaa gardan par keenchre boletho akbaal kya bola maalum hai mere baaju circle jo tehraa hein mein kaisaa maarungaa un logo ko.
Jahangir : aagaya dekh apna salim pheku!!!
Ismail bhai : kya khusboo aari saleem kya daala ?
Salim Pheku : poison daalliya
Jhangir : Kya re poison daalliya.... kya pekra yaaron
Salim Peku : poison mathlab scent ko bolthey yeh bahar miltha. Mere kamre mein saat sau khisam ke scent ke sheeshiya hai. Main roz nikalne se pehle idhar udhar, shirt mein , chaddi mein dalke nikalto.
Jhangir : Abids ke foot path mein miltha
Saleem : woh duplicate scent tumare bawa lagate
Jhangir : Bava pe nakko jao..!!
Saleem :
kal kriishna oberoy mein daawat thi.. daawat mein jaate, manageraan venageraan poora hallo hai bole.. main bola party kidar chalri boletho, 'BLANKET' hall mein chalri boli..
(kounsi hall mein???!!!!!) BLANKET HALL yaaron..
blanket hall mein aisa ghusthe hi, poore loga nachre mein bole apun nachenga tho poora pottiyan mereku lapat jaate, tho mein aisa bhaju se nikal raha hoon.. tho do loga taire the, jaate vaate logan se kya bolra maalun, "arey ine english filmon ka hero dikhra ni",
(ismail bhai: abba....)
ab mein hallu jaake table pe bhaita, waiter aa ke bola "sir any thing thanda garam", ab sharab tho mein peeta nai, mein ek all mix fruit juice la bolke bola..
aisa bhaite hi saamnese mallika dhekli..
(ismail bhai: mallika??!! kaun?)
arey 'MURDER' yaaron, bhaj leke aake boli "hi saleem where are you?, how do u do?, naayudu" bolke..
phir mereku lapatli ustaad, lapat ke idhar puppy udhar puppy, tum samaj rahena, idhar puppy udhar puppy mera pulna shuru hogaya..
(jahangir: kya phulna shuru hogaya baap saleem..?)
arey saas pulna shuru hogai yaaron..
mallika-"saleem mujje long drive pe jaana hain"
saleem -" ab main usse hyd main long drive pe khaha le jaoo asse banjara hill se panjagutta se sida niclace road se tak band par lete he kya bole maloom .
mallika-"saleem mereku icecream hona" bolte he to main mohazzamjahi market kane roka arre mashur icecream hain na yaaron vahha panch pach cup ice cream.
ismail bhai"panch pach cup"
saleem-"arre ithe ithe cup the yaaro" kaliye baad mai bola ab to tum thande hogaye sida uskho lekar jaya kirshana oberio tak aab tum jao ghar kho main bhi jaroo .gud nite.
tho who kya bole maloom "saleem aab tum jana vana nahi ise kaise hota tum mare saath room ko chalo kuch bathana hai"
aab main kya kara who bolre bolke room kho chala gaya.aaab room kho chale janeke baad raath bar kya hua maloom nakho pucho.
jahangir - neend main se aankh kab kuli yaaro teri
saleem- subah.
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The Fight in the Hotel
Saleem : yeh bahar wale chupke hi bikariyo ka photo nikalke bahar leke jake dikhake tamasha karte."arey kaha maarra re,kiska nikalra re,ismail bhai ko bikhari samajra re angrez,re angrez"
Jahanginr : gaali diya ustaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
Kya samjhe re tum logan hyderabadiyonko phod ke rakh daalthe
pacchis saal se main charminar mein baita hu, aaj tak mere ko koi hath nahi lagaaya ... ye angreza aake mere ko haath lagathe re ... maa ki kirkiri ...
Saleem : assalam alaikum Ahmed bhai. Main saleem. Kal kya orchestra tha yaaro. main jaldi nikal gaya. Are Ahmed bhai woh hamare Ismail bhai hai nai, haan woich Charminar wale., zara unki Angrezo ke saath ladai hogai. Zara kuch bhi hua to aap P.S. Sambhal lena............
Saleem : Ahmed bhai bole Ismail bhai ke liye P.S. kya poora Control room sambhal leton.
Chaus : Puraa phirke aya ustaad....o mote mote galliyan...o bharik bharik galliyan....o choude choude galliyan....pura phirke maloom kare ustaad...ustaaad bahut bhook lagri ustaad
saleem : ismael bhai, angrezonka ghar ka pataa laaliyaa.
jahangir: sahin layaa ya phekraa?
saleem: hou re main utthaa toh bhi karaa, tu kya kara re, jab kal angrezaan ismael bhai ka shirt phadke ismael bhai ko khudal khudal ke marrethe...
unknown: abbaaaa!!!! khudal khudal ke maare ismael bhai ko?
ismael bhai: makki kirkiri baigan main mila diyaa re tu meri izzat ku, sab logaan merku poochre re.. tum log kya toh bhi samjhey re mereku..
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Ismail Bhai's gang at NRI's Apartment
Saleem to all : tu to paakit maar dikraaa!!
arrey yeh to khandaani rikshewala dikhra
tu kyun hasra re tu to theatre mein nayi film lagi tho 30 ka 60 ,30 ka 60 bolke phirte naa waisa dikhraa!!!
main to ramu bhai ke agla movie ka hero lagru ....!
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Ismail bhai's gang in the Hotel
salim on phone: helloo!! kaun? ismael bhai? kaun ismael bhai? ismael bhai... ek minute..
salim :.. bhaabhi ka phone hain doosri ghar se..
ismael bhai: tere paas kahaan se aayaa re phone?
salim: us din paikhaaney saaf karte waqt mere paas rehgayathaa...
ismael bhai: halluuu bol re.. uskuuu sunneaathaa...tum logaaan baigan main milaadiyaa meri izzat kuu.. maakki kirkiriii... hello.. main aaroo bhai ek ghantey se.. tum logaan chindiyaan kardi meri haalath ko.. makki kirkirii... time kharaab chelraa re..]
salim: ismael bhai zaraan do chai to bolooo
ismael bhai: ab chai nahin kuch nahin bey
salim tum tension nakko liyo bhai is baar aisi planning dalrun angrezan bachi nahin sakthe saale!!!
theekh hai do chai tho bol re
are iliyaaz !!char thande, char alu samose ,do plate mirchi,ek plate khari boondhi,char kachori,char alu bonde aur do ande wande bhi lele jaldi !!!!!.....CHAI BADME
arey salim pheku tu bas phektha hai ya kuch karega bhi!!!
Saleem :Aisa nai hota Ismail Bhai... poora planning dalke jaana padtha
Saleem : Ab Banjara Hills ya se pachis(25) kilometer hai.
Chaush : Kaisa re.
Saleem : Are hao re galiyon galiyon mein se gaye to uttaich hota.
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Ismail Bhai's Gang at NRI's Office
Saleem on seeing girl : aey saaf kar!! Manager, cleaning company manager,cleaning company manager!!
mai apna ssaf kar raha hun tu aapna saaf karna bey
arrey ismail bhai zara kone mein saaf karo
Ismail Bhai : pachees saal se charminaar me hoo, kya chootiya samaj ra re mereko?
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tum loga pukkat ke cigerettaa,, pookat ke chaya...pukkat ke paana..khake merku bambooo gusadre...
Jahangir to panwaala : char manikchand.. chaar chabaaza ..char sweety ..char crane ..char baba chota kashmiri chunne mein ..char baba chota kashmiri kathhe mein.. do dabbi bada gold flake... do dabbi chota gold flake ..ek ladi...
Ismail bhai to Jahangir : kya re poora dabba khareed ta kya .... do cigrette le re ... maki kir kiri
saleem : ismail bhai ke patte hai re hum logaan...chai nahin pilaaye to bhi hamaare dil mein ismail bhai ich rehte...
Jahangir : bachpan mein school ki fees nahin hai tho ismail bhai dethe the hamare liye paise!!kya kuch nahin kare ismail bhai hamare vasthe
Ismail Bhai Do Din Nahi Dikhe toh loga puchte, Ismail Bhai Dubai gaye kya?
Saleem : woh rukhsana parso poochri ismail bhai kahan hai kaise hai itney din se dikhey kyun nahi
ABHI ruksanaku bhi malum hogaya!!!!!!!!! thum loga chindhi chore kama karke meri izzat mitti me miladere!!!!!!! makki kirkiri

Compilation of PJs - 12

Sita k vanvaas jaane mein bahot badi seekh hai ! Ghar mein agar 3 - 3 saas hai to vanvaas hi thik hai !!





Climax if "Lagaan: by Rajnikant : 1 ball, 20 runs needed. Bowler bowls, Rajni hits, ball splits in 4 pieces. All pieces go for 6.India wins





Om Puri kidnapped by Taliban. Indian govt launched a mission to save him. Whats the mission called ? Ans : Sev Puri





Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"? bcoz Indian wives call their husband "A g" (Scientific Symbol for Silver)





मुलगी मुलाला:माझा होशील का? मुलगा: हो आणि मग मुलगी त्याला पिउन टाकते





Senior student during ragging says- "On your marriage I will kiss ur wife" Junior Replies - "I am going to marry ur SISTER"





1 premi ne apni premika ko valentine's day par goli kyu maari? bcoz he was a die hard fan of BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE





Why did the girl changed her name from Shruti to Shraxis? Ans: Because UTI bank is now Axis bank.





dil me ha hai.. hoton pe naa hai.. dil me haa hai.. hoton pe naa hai shashi kapoor kehta hai...mere paas maa hai...





What is the Height of Flirting? When your love letter starts with: "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN"





Insaniyat ko bread pe laga ke khaa jao Aakhir Insaniyat Naam Ki Bhi Koi "Cheese" Hoti Hai..





1 sardar doctor ko puchta hai, "plastic surgery ka kitna kharcha hoga?" dr-15 lakh. sardar-agar plastic me du to?





Jiske dil tut jate hai uska general knowledge weak q ho jata hai? Bcoz jab dil hi tut gaya, to phir 'GK' kya kare?





Ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge Ans :Birla White Cement "kyunki iske ander jaan hai.."




2 frnds go for dinner.But 1 of then doesn't eat. So other shows him a film & 2nd one start eating. Which film does he show ? Khaakee





Interviewer: The oldest animal in the world is ?Santa: Zebra Interviewer: How ? Santa: Coz its Black & White





Jar Dada Kondke ni 1 movie kadhli & ti marathi & hindi donhi language madhe release keli tr tiche naav kay asel? Ans-BADLA LOONGI




interviewer-Pani ke bina insaan kaise marega?Banta-Pani nahi hoga to insaan tairega kaise?Aur tairega nahi toh doob jayega





why is river rich ? Ans : Bcoz it has 2 banks.





whats the name of girl who is small & whose heart is also small ? Ans : Asha, bocz Dil hai chhotasa, chhotisi Asha !





Y Wahida is in the same saree in the movie GUIDE?DevAnand said O mere humrahi meri baah thame chalna,badle duniya SAARI tum na badalna





50-50 Kms dur jab koi bacha oon oon karke rota hai to maa kehti hai beta aise mat roo varna bada ho kar HIMESH RESHHAMIYA ban jayega





In a park 2 lovers eating chips by looking in2 each others eyes. Gal-dear,wat r u thinkng rite now? Boy-I think U R eating more





Algebra law revised ! For 100s of years, people are doing algebra & guess what ? x is still unknown & xxx is wel konwn !





1 din 1 daku sardar ke ghar me ghus gaya aur pucha," sona kahan hain?"Sardar : Ullu ke pathey, Pura ghar khali hain, kahin par bhi so ja.





Santa saw a Beautiful Girl, he Went and Kissed her. Girl: STUPID what r u doing? Santa: F.Y. B.Com





3 sardar bedvar zoplele astat.Ekala jaga purat nahi & to jaminiwar zopto.Bedvarcha sardar uthun tyala mhanto "var yeun zop. Jaga zaliye"





what would you get if a cow dances? Ans : Guidance !





Agar aap 90 baar paap karenge to sirf 45 baar pakde jaayenge why ? bcoz sin 90 = cot 45





Q: ceilng fan is male or female? Ans:can be both.If it is khaitan its male n if its usha it has 2 b female





Nepali ko chirag mila. Jin ne 3 wishes puchi.Nepali-1.Ek bada bangla. 2-Usme 1 bahut aamir aadmi. 3-Ushka Gurkha humko banao





Raju chya ghari chor shiratat, tari Rajula tyachi Chinta nasate. Ka? Ans :- Hamam ase ghari, chinta kon kari?





wat will happen to gulshan groVer if he travelled at speed of light? ANS:he wil become gulshan groCer coz at speed of light V=C





Hotel vaishali madhe Zade ka wadhat nahit? karan tikde wadhayla waiter ahet.





Ekda Dharmendrachya ghari chor yeto. Dharmendra tyala chidun mhanto....'Kamine...' tar chor mhanto 'theek aahe..kami neto





khoon se likh diya har deewar pe uska naam. aur phir tod di wo har ek deewar. kyon ki spelling mistake ho gayi thi.





चिंटू : बाबा.मी उद्यापासून शाळेत जाणार नाही. वडील-का रे ? चिंटू -आज माझं वजन केलं शाळेत.काय माहीत? उद्या विकून टाकतील.





A-Aai kashi aahe? B-Aai bari aahe. A- Aani bahin kashi aahe? B-Ti pan bari aahe. A-Mag baba BARECH astil na?A-Nahi baba EKACH aahe





Ekda sagle dryfruits patte khelayla bastat.Tar sanga pahu patte kon vatel te ? 'PISTA'.. karan patte fakt tyalach pista yetat





Why soldiers at Indo-Pak border don't fight to each other ? Bcoz dhishum dhishum to pepsodent ka kaam hai !





Ek manus asto. Tyache pay chaukoni astat. Tar tyache nav kay asel? Ans : area of circle. ( paay r square!)





Ekda ek dost dada kondake na vicharto, 'Tumhi chaddi kuthe shivta?' Dada mhanatat, ' Phatel tithe!'





raagit lokkaani fakt gane shikvava. ka? karan tyanna fakt "raag" ch yeto.!





Why do engineers use Castrol as their Hair-oil? - Coz. it's not just oil, it's liquid engineering





Eka mulala tyache frnds 'telkat' mhnat astat.To chidto & blding warun udi marto.Pan to marat nahi.ka?Bcz tyani PARACHUTE lavlela aste




khoon se likh diya har deewar pe uska naam. aur phir tod di wo har ek deewar. kyon ki, spelling mistake ho gayi. 1





Boy-Will you dance with me? Girl-Sorry,I don't dance with kids. Boy- Oh! I didn't know that you are pregnant !





Ekda sagle prani aashadhi ekadashi la devlat chalat jatat.Pan fakt kombdi taxi gheun yete.ka?Bcoz upasala kombdi chalat nahi.





Ma'm : A for APPLE. Studnts: A for APPLE. Ma'm: JOR SE BOLO.. Studnts: JAI MATAA DI...





Ab toh zindagi ka maqsad hai unko apnana!Ab toh zindagi ka maqsad hai unko apnana!! Bolo "A for Apple, B for Banana"





Mera dil todkar tumne dil ko pahuchai thes! Mera dil todkar tumne dil ko pahuchai thes!!Tan theta is perpendicular to the base!





Tere pyaar me pagal ho gaya peter! Tere pyaar me pagal ho gaya peter.. pesh hai hero honda splendor ! 80 km per litre!





Laamb laamb... kaale kaale kay asate? Ans :- Laamb laamb... laal laal dhagyachi sawali





Laal laal... laamb laamb... kay asate? Ans :- Laal dhagyache reel





son-"mom,wats der to eat?"mom throws a stone at him.Son-"Wat this?i asked 4 sumthin 2 eat".mom-"hum EAT ka jawab pathar se dete hai"





Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed "guess who"? Ans : A divorce lawyer 1:41





aminichya duppat kay ? Ans : kutra. kase? jamin mhanje BHU Kutra mhanje BHUBHU





agar ek paratha and pizza pahadse ek saath feko ge to phele kaun pahunchega? Ans : pizza bcoz its fast food





Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai.. Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ... Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ...."





Alibaba guha shodhayala chalat nighato.Chalun chalun khupch damato.Shevati ekadachi guha yete.Tar to kay mhanel ? Ans : Aali baba 1




Sardar walking thru forest.He saw snake hanging on tree.He told snake"Aise lataknese kuch nahi hoga.Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye"





Whos Jo ? Ans : Kambakt Ishq. Bcoz "Kambakt Ishq hai Jo"





1 sardar was cleaning wall with ear buds. Why ? bcoz diwaron ke bhi kaan hote hain





if button is called GUNDI in marathi.what is chain called ? Ans : ghasargundi





Dhoni asks Irfan to bring a Pepsi.Irfan brings a bottle,but takes it directly to Sehwag.Why?Ans: Bcoz Sehwag is an opener





A beggar meets other beggar.A s/w engg meets other s/w engg.Both ask same Q to each other.Whats Q?Which platform are you working on?





A woodcutter went to city. Suddenly all gals started following him.Why? bcoz of The AXE EFFECT





Santa-We will soon become Rich. Banta-How?Santa-Tomorrow my Mathematics Teacher will teach me how 2 convert Paise to Rupees.





Ek saap ne mujhe Dus diya… Maine usko 5-5 ka chutta diya





Two cockroaches were admitted in a hospital. cockroach one said to the other ‘baygon. tera kya?’ the other replied ‘paragon’





If Da Vinci Coda was made in Punjabi ,what it would have been called ? Ans : Vinci Da Code











microsoft has launched a new software. its related with mahendra singh dhoni's batting. What is it called? ANS- MS Dhoni.





Ekda ek manus kanat bot gahalto tar to marto ka ? Ans : bcoz botiche nav titanic asto

Compilation of PJs - 11

Armstrong lands on moon, sees 2 guys. He asks: Who r u. Man: "Cameraman Mayank ke saath Deepak Chorasiya, Aaj Tak"





1 aadmi JAM khata hai aur uske baad usme ddob jaata hai. Why ? bcoz nadiya se dariya, dariya se sagar, sagar se ghehra JAM











Why do women wear watches on their right hand and men on their left hand? Ans-To see the time





wat song wil a unsatisfied man sing wen he cums out of da toilet aft shitting? Ans- JUDA HOKE BHI TU MUJHME KAHI BAKI HAI!





What's the opposite of "Dominoes" ? Ans - "Domi doesn't know"





मिथुन चक्रवर्ती ला जर दोन मुले असतील तर त्यांची नावे काय आहेत? इथुन आणि तिथुन !





रवीन्द्रनाथ टागोर लाजले तर त्यांना काय म्हणाल.. शर्मिला टागोर !!!





ज्या मुलाच्या वडिलांना ४ बहिणी आहेत, त्या मुलाचे नाव काय? आत्याचार





Define JIGARI DOST - Ase dost jyani ekach JIGAR madhun ENGG cha abhyaas kela ahe.





Who is called female Java? Ans: Java'Gal' Srinath









Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi? Aamir Khan





A women goes in an Auto (rickshaw) and gets bald? how ? Ans-Automatically ( Auto-Mein-Takli)





Lawyer: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? Witness: Yes. Lawyer: And these stairs, did they go up also?








How to light cigarette in a boat ? http://txtb.in/4dM This is pretty old one





Banta ped pe chada to santa ne pucha-Upar kyo gaya? Banta-Apple khane. Santa-Ye to aam ka ped hai.Banta-Pata hai, apple saath laya hun



Lady doc-tum roz subah clinic ke bahar se aurto ko kyo ghurte ho? Santa-bcoz bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12




Why are Egyptian Children always confused?Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY





Man-How old is your father? Boy-As old as me.Man-How can that be? Boy-He became a father only when I was born.




Santa was inserting dog's tail into pipe. Banta-Oye, kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti. Santa-main to pipe bend kar raha hoon





Santa asked his son to write 1 to 20. Son comes back in a few minutes with 1 to 12. He questions. Son says “Get a bigger clock!”




What’s d biggest pressure 4 Pak cptn when Pak needs 1 run in 8 ovrs & 5 wkts in hand? How to speak English in presntation ceremony?





According to a study 70% men in this world can't wear condoms properly, what are they called? Ans - dad perkytweets





Interviewer-Why did you changed your last job? Santa-Bcoz the company shifted and didn't tell me where.





1st thief-The police is here.Jump out of the window.2nd thief-But this is 3th floor.1st thief-This is no time for superstitions





A scientist disconnected his doorbell. Why?? bcoz...he wanted to win the No-bell prize!





While chatting to a frnd,I said yawn .He also said yawn . Then he said …now we have yawn sambhandh





Aisi Konsi jagaha Hai Jaha Ameer se Ameer insaan bhi katori le k khada rhta Hai ? . . . Pani Puri wale ke paas





What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re so pointless.




Can Microsoft ever make a product that does not suck? Yes, a vacuum cleaner





अमावास्येला चंद्र का दिसत नाही ? कारण अमावास्येच्या रात्री चंद्र निंबोणीच्या झाडामागे झोपलेला असतो





If a man wins despit losing, what would his grandma call him ? Ans- JIGAR bcoz haar kar jeetne wale ko BAA Jigar kehten hai.





what is height of technology ? 1)condoms with shock absorbers 2) Ankhiyon Se goli maare





What is height of Fashion? 1)Dhoti with a zip 2)A baby demanding Low waist diapers





संता-मेरे पास आज गाडी है.बंगला है.पैसा है.तेरे पास क्या है?बंता-मेरे पास भी गाडी है.बंगला है.पैसा है!संता- फीर माँ किसके पास है?





सुई टोचल्य़ावर रक्त बाहेर का येते ? कोणी टोचलय हे बघण्य़ासाठी





2 Sardar Jungle Me. Sher Aaya 1Ne Mitti Uthayi Sher Ki Aankh Me Dalke Bhagte Hue Chillaya'Abe Bhag' 2nd:Main Kyun Bhagu? Mitti tune dali





Baap-Qutub minar kaha hai beta-patan hai baap-kabhi ghar se nikla karo beta-ramlal kaun hai baap-pata nahi beta-kabhi ghar me raha karo




2 चिमण्या असतात. त्यातली एक म्हणते "चिऊ" दुसरी काहीच म्हणत नाही! का? कारण दुसरी चिमणी Factory ची असते.





जर अलका कुबल आणि अरनॉल्ड श्वार्झनेगर यांनी एका सिनेमात एकत्र काम केलं, तर त्या सिनेमाचं नाव काय असेल? माहेरचा टमिर्नेटर!





1st:माझे बाबा इतके उंच आहेत कि ते उडत्या helicopter ला कीस करू शकतात.2ndा:माझे बाबा पण खूप उंच आहेत पण ते असे चीप चाळे करत नाहीत




जर नेक्स्ट जेम्स बॉण्ड म्हणून गोविंदाला साइन केलं तर सिनेमाचं नाव काय असेल? जेम्स बॉण्ड नंबर वन





Santa-Ppl consider me as GOD. Banta-How do u know? Santa-Wen I go 2 them, everyone says, "Oh GOD! U have come again"





2 srdr were crossin railway tracks.They saw a train comin towards them.Suddenly they bend down.why? Coz d train was saying jhuk jhuk





Q: ceilng fan is male or female? A:can b both.If its khaitan then its male n if its usha its female





Who is son of lion ? Ans : Holi bcoz in Sholay, Gabbar says "Holi "cub" hai ? Holi Cub hai ?"





pintya samor 3 bottle thevalya astat.2 full & 1 empty aste.tari to rikami batli ka uchalato? bcoz tyala rocket udavayache aste





ITS A 7 LETTER WORD.If we remove 1 by 1, all letters frm it, still it remains same. What is it ? Ans - POSTBOX





Bird&baby on tree & Ash drnking coke below.Baby drops in her Coke.Wat does bird say? Ash,tumhari coke me mera bachha hai





Teacher teaching algebra,A=B&B=C meansA=C.Sir asked student to give an eg.Student replied I LUV U&U LUV UR DAUGHTER means I LUV UR DAUGHTER





1st boy- my father is superman. 2-my father is spiderman. 3-my father is a tailor. Ask ur father whether they want costume ?





if yash chopra makes a movie about veerapan, what will be the name of his wife in the movie ? Ans : zaraa'pan





मुलगी-आज मी तुला राखी बांधणार.मुलगा- नाही. मुलगी- का ? मुलगा- मी उद्या तुला मंगळसुत्र बांधायला आलो तर बांधुन घेशील का ?





kuthle taare jameenivar rahtat ? Ans : MHA-TAARE





jar ek jaadi mulgi bus stop var ubhi aste bus saathi tar tila kay mhannar? Ans : Motivating





What’s the o/p of pgm? void main( ) {int naam; printf("%d",naam);} o/p - 13 why? bcoz naam hai tera tera, naam hai 13 13

Compilation of PJs - 10

If u plant a seed & it doesn't grow, then what will u say ? Ans - Wake up sid





whats the name of that person who dosent have any friends! koina mitra!





Santa: Do u know wat 1 ghost said to the other. banta: No. Santa: Do u believe in People?





न्यायाधीश-‘‘तू चोरी करत होतास तेव्हा त्या घराचा मालक तुझ्यापासून किती अंतरावर होता?’’चोर-‘मी चोरी करायला गेलो होतो. जमीन मोजायला नाही





Santa went into toilet & started to clean basin. Banta - What are u doing ? Santa pointed at a board on toiled door saying "Wash basin"





गुरुजी : वर्गात कोणाला सुसू ला लागली तर करंगळी वर करा. बंड्या- करंगळी वर केली तर सुसू थांबते का ?





wat is the real name of daughter in law of jackie chan? Ans- decold total, kyon ki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi.





what is the real name of mother in law of jackie chain ? D'cold total (chain ki saas)





wo kaun sa kaam hai jo koi bhi akela nahi kar sakta? GROUP DISCUSSION





1 cow hai kali si.Wo sadak ke bich me kade hokar "F"......"F".."F"..kyoon bol rhi hai. bcoz F=MA





How to make Coca-cola from water ? Ans - Paani ko fridge me rakho. Paani thanda ho jayega. And as Amir says "Thanda matlab Coca-cola"





When I was studying in school, my teacher had to wear sun glasses. why ? Bcoz I was very "bright" student





pintya samor 3 Coke chya bottles thevalya astat.2 full & 1 empty.Tar to empty batli ka uchalto? bcoz tyala rocket udavayache aste





सहजच tweet केले आहे. वाचले नसते तरी चालले असते :P





3 Guys wer introduced to a girl.I’m Peter, nt a saint. I’m Paul nt a POPE. I’m John nt a Baptist.Gal replied.I’m Mary,nt a VIRGIN.





A sardar falls in luv wit a nurse.. After much thinking, he finally writes a luv letter 2 her: “I LUV U SISTER”





1st boy- I know everything. 2nd boy - Then you are Maa. 1st - How ? 2nd - Tujhe sab pata hai na maan





What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting on the sea shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur a





what’s on the TV? Ans - dust!





A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, “send me a brother”. santa wrote back, “send me ur mother”





A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant passes by… What does the loafer elephant say? Wow… 3600-2400-3600





2 hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. 1 says, “I’ve lost my electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive" 1





Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.




A lady delivered twins. 1 is a boy and other is a dog.How? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER. "wherever u go, our network follow"





Eka maaNsaalaa shiraa khup avDat asto.Tar to sainyaat jaato. ka? bcoz ek advertisement aste : "sainyaat shiraa"





ekada 18 sardar movie la jatat.why? karan theater baher lihilela aasata " below 18 not allowed"





१ म्हातारी Tel dir ची पाने चाळत असते.१ तरुण मुलगा विचारतो"काही मदत करू का?" म्हातारी म्हणते"मी माझ्या नातवासाठी चांगले नाव शोधत आहे"





Santa-Pack your bags, I just won the 10 Million Lotto WIFE-Do i pack for Beaches or Mountains?Santa-"WHO CARES??? JUST PACK AND GET LOST





Q: Who had a double role in movie 'Sholay'? A: King George He is on both sides of the coin





Bike chya mage laglelya kutrya la kasa fasavaayacha? Left indicator dakhvun Right la valayacha





Tushar kapoor la ghewun "Devdas" kadhala, tar tya movie che naav kay asel? "Pina sirf mere liya"





ekda sagle filstars eke thikani ale astat. Sagle lift ni jaat astat,only kareena kapoor jeenyani jate,y? kyonki JEENA sirf mere liye









don sardar chess khelat asatat. Ajun 2 sardar yetat ani mhantat "Chala doubles khelu"





don sardar chess khelat asatat.





Ek juna vinod - Vinod Khanna




Ek mulga 3000 Rs cha Recharge marto.To 1pan call or sms karat nahi.tari tyacha balance jaat asto.KA bcoz to eka payawar ubha asto.





ek CUP, MUG la kaay mhanel? kaay MUG? tar KADHAI CUP la kaay mhanel? MUGashi kaay bolat hotas?





lagnala shobha kashane yete? rikshane!











नेपाळमध्ये चोर्या का होत नाहीत ? कारण तिथे सगळेच गुरखे आहेत.





1 mulga canteen madhe vadapav khayla jato tar tyachya pavachya khali lihilela asta."JANNAT" tar tyachya "sir"ancha nav kay? "ishq ki chav"



औफिसमध्ये साहेबांच्या निरोपसमारंभ...लिनाबाई भाष्ण करायला आल्या. "साहेबांच्या हाताखाली काम करता करता "दिवस कसे गेल"े ते कळलंच नाही"









समोर उघडेबंब गणराय दिसत असताना दर्शनाच्या रांगेतील एक माणूस स्वत: घातलेला शर्ट दुसऱ्याला दाखवत "हा शर्ट गणपतीला शिवला" असं का सांगत होता?




गब्बर- ये हाथ मुझे दे दे ठाकूर.. ठाकूर- गप रे येडय़ा, आपण काय पाच तीन दोन खेळतोय?





1st प्रवासी-'एक मिशा सोडल्या तर तू अगदी माझ्या बायकोसारखा दिसतोस' 2nd प्रवासी-'पण मला मिशा नाहीयेत' 1st प्रवासी-‘पण माझ्या बायकोला आहेत ना'





Boss:"I never see u on ur desk,u always roam around" Me:"शेर अपनी गुफ़ाँमॆही बैठा रहे,तो कोई उसे शेर नही कहेगा"





Sardar: I did my PhD. Job Interviewer: WHAT? Which subject? Sardar: All of them, I "Passed Highschool with Difficulty"





Boss-Im giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary 2000/- is it ok?Sardar-Starting sal. is OK, but how much is DRIVING salary




Sardar wanted to make STD call to punjab,He wanted to save money. What did he do? Ans-He went to punjab & made a local call





Gujrathi lokana football team madhe ka ghet nahit ? Bcoz tyana corner dila ki te lagech tithe dukan taktat.





gf: main maa banane waali hoon bf: kya? gf: haan main tumhare dad se shaadi karke tumhari maa banane waali hoon





A dog & mosquito kissed each other. Next day, mosquito dies by malaria & dog dies by rabies. Thats called "Pyar ke side effects"



outside a gurudwara, sardars were told to fight & whoever wins, only he would enter d temple. Why ? Bcoz "Jo Jeeta wahi Sikh-ander"





Whats the speed of darkness ? Ask MSEB.





सर:बंड्या मी आता काहीही प्रश्न विचारला की तू त्याचं उत्तर पटकन द्यायचं,काय?बंड्या:हो सर.सर:अमेरिकेचे राष्ट्राध्यक्ष कोण?बंड्या:पटकन!





What is the meaning of the following? ababaaabbbbaaaabaabbbbbaaababaaabbbbaaaabbbbabab aaa Ans. Long Time No 'C' (See)





what do you call a machine which pushes people ? Ans- generator(jan-rator)





सातव्या henry नी काय केलं? आठव्या henry ला जन्म दिला - बिगरी ते मॅट्रिक

Compilation of PJs - 9

To do is to be -Socrates. To be is to do -Plato. Do be do be do -Scooby Doo





ek calculator dusre calci ko kya bola? Ans - CASIO???".(kaisi-ho?)





Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes? Ans: A Piiig





what a chicken will say when its been cooked with green chilly ? Ans- hum pe kisine hara rang dala..maar dala..maar dala





Whats a man's idea of a romantic evening?.. A candlelight football stadium





What is the Center of Gravity? its V .. the center of "gra V ity"





Teacher-"In India, after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. " Sardar- "We must find & stop her"





Whats d plural form of SRK ? Ans- ICICI bank bcoz SRK says 'MAI HOON NAA' & ICICI bank says "HUM HAI NAA"





A C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking: declare variable as " float TITANIC;"





पुण्याच्या कर्वे रोडला पाणी येतं. पण, तिकडल्याच कोथरुडला का येत नाही? कारण दोन्हीमध्ये नळ स्टॉप आहे.





पुरातन काळातले हाडाचे सांगाडे पाहिल्यावर त्यातला पुरुषाचा वा स्त्रीचा कसे ओळखतात?त्या हाडांचे जबडे पहातात.जो जास्त झिजला असेल तो स्त्रीचा.





Interviewer-"what kind of books do u read?",Student (guess who?)-"TechMax Publications".(





BaNta-Teri Biwi Ko Car Chahiye Thi, TuNe Use DiamoNd RiNg KyuN Di? SaNta: MaiN Nakli Car Kaha Se Lata?





In a 100 meter Race,it was announced "1 2 3 start". All started running except Santa.Coach- Y r u waitin? Santa- My no. is 4





mom-beta so ja nahi to gabbar aa jaega.Beta-jaldi se 100 Rs do,nahi to papa se bata dunga ki mere sone ke baad gabbar ata ha





what would you call if all the mother-in-laws took part in a race? Ans- race sason ki





Man-Officer!There's a bomb in my garden!Officer-Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.





What did the cookie say to the milk? - Ans - Wahts up Dhood?





haathi ke ghutne ko kya khete hai ? Ans - ghajnee[gaj-knee]





Why don't you feel hungry while surfing the net? Ans: You are getting your supply of Cookies





BCCI refuses Virgin airline sponsorship-How can Indian players wear T-shirts saying "VIRGIN" and get screwed in every match?





What will 'Paa' movie be called if it has koda instead of big b in lead role - PaKoda 2:01





Why can`t the afghans watch tv?....Cause of the telliban




How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion, I'll drink poison n let lion eat me!





Sardar seats in Boing airplane for d 1st time.He started shouting "Boing Boing" Air hostess said-"B silent" Sardar-"Oing Oing"





what is d difference between Santa And Zandu Bam ? Ans - 1 is Sardar and other one is asardar





Sardar got a sms from his girl friend-"I MISS YOU". Sardar replied-"I Mr YOU"





Whats d age of ranbir kapoor in "ajab prem ki ghzab kahani" ?Ans-12yrs Why ? bcoz he sings "13 hone laga hun"





akbar ne liye tin ghode, akbar ne liye tin ghode, apdi pode,pode ,pode





Why'd the boy eat his homework? His teacher told him it was a piece of cake!





Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a wimp." The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent.





Why did God create economists? Ans - To make weathermen look good! 2





What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake? Ans - It's all your fault!





Boy 1-Why don't u break up with ur GF?Boy 2- If i break up with her, I'll hv to change passwords of all my accs.





Where was "love" born ? Ans - In China. bcoz it has no guarantee & no warranty ! Chale to chand tak, nahi to sham tak





SRK chya ghari 10 fans ahet tari tyacha farsa wara yet nahi ka ? Ans - Hole hole se hawa lagati hai





What did 0 say to 8? Ans - Nice belt!





Sardar got promotion From Executive to Manager. He went home and told his wife in new style "TU AAJ RAT SE MANAGER KE SAATH SOYEGI"





लड़का: तुम गाना बहुत अच्छा गाती हो. लडकी: नहीं, में तो सिर्फ बाथरूम सिंगर हूँ. लड़का: तो बुलाओ ना कभी, महफिल जमाते हैं





What will you call a guy who is not "cool" Ans - Nakul





ekda 1 mulga eka mulichi chhed kadhato.tar ti tyala chidun vicharte."aye mula kay kartos?' to mhanto "B.Com"

Compilation of PJs - 8

What do you call a man standing on urine? Ans - Superman (Suu-par-man )





Old people used to annoy at me at weddings by saying "ur next" Now, they stopped dat wen i started doing the same at funerals





1000 पानांचे पुस्तक वाचायला किती वेळ लागेल?लेखक-6 महिने.डॉक्टर-2 महिने.वकिल-1 महिना.अभियंता-परिक्षा कधि आहे?रात्रभरात वाचुन काढू





aasman ko alvida kaise karoge ? Ans - tata sky





10 times of Avatar = DashaAvatar





A guy got bitten by a king cobra in his house, but he didn't die why? Ans- bcoz he was in the LIVING room!





Atma meri marr gayi, mujhe lagti nahi hai pyaas, the time period of pendulum is independent of its mass!





Interviewer -bataiye PANI ke bina Insan kaise Marega? Sardar- PANI nai hoga to Insan Tairega kaise?Aur Tairega nahi to doob jayega





What's the height of Frustration Ans-A boxer trying to scratch his balls





चायनीज-आमच्याकडे एवढे दुध आहे कि नळातून दुध येते.अमेरिकन-आमच्याकडे एवढी दारू आहे की नळातून दारू येते.भारतीय-हे दोघे मराठीतून का बोलत आहेत?





whats d color of frequency?Ans-Purple.Unit of freq. is Hz ie 1/sec ie. par second.second is also caled as pal in hindi.so PARPAL





What did the policeman say when he arrested Hussey? Ans - Hussey to phasi !





Who is the only Aussie cricketer who always smiles,even if he is declared out? Ans - Hussey.





Santa apni jeb me patthar dale ghum raha tha.Banta-Aisa kyo kar rahe ho?Santa-Is duniya me jiski jeb bhari hai uski ki kadar hoti hai





What's Rajnikanth's gmail address? Ans- gmail@rajnikanth.com





Teacher-"Bazar me goliyan chal rahi hai" Translate in English. Santa-The Tablets r walking in the market.





What do you call a Person who is Afraid of Santa Claus? Ans - Claustrophobic!





A heartbroken elephant goes 2 park & sits on a see-saw.It breaks.so which song will he sing.?''see-saw''ho ya dil ho,aakhir toot jata hai!





Girl-Father, is it a sin to sleep with a boy? Father-No, But when u sleep with a boy, u actually don't "sleep"





boy went to electronics store.attendant-would u like to have a pocket calculator?boy:-no,i already know how many pockets i have.





Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife! Sardar: Wow! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!





In a Maths exam Sardar was continuously dancing! Why ? Bcoz someone told him that there is marks for every step!





मुलगी-मँडम, आकाशातून नेहमी पाऊस पडत असतो का?मँडम - नाही.मुलगी - तर मग विमानातून उड्या मारणारे छत्र्या का घेऊन येतात?





Who is the Brother of Santa Claus? Ans - Banta Claus





The Bachchan Family is planning for a sequel of Paa. The movie has been named Paa-Do





jab parrot hua dirty, parrot se boli maina , don't u worry surf excel hay na





शाम - फुटबाल मध्ये चेंडूला का मारतात? राम-"ते गोल करत आहेत" शाम- चेंडू गोल तर आहे ना,अजून चेंडूला किती गोल करता





What do you call Santa Clause's Helpers? Ans - SubOrdinate Clause





Patient - Doctor, everyone thinks I'm a liar. Doctor: I don't believe you.





What is taken from you before it is given to you? Ans - Its ur photo





Teacher- Whats d formula for water? Chintu-its H2 MgCl NaCl HNO3 HClO. Teacher- Whats dis? Chintu-Ye Municipality ka pani hai !





what wil u call it if ur cat brings tea for u? Ans -LIABILITY (lia-bili-tea)





Waiter gives bill to Sardar.Sardar-"Take my card."Waiter-"this is Ration Card."Sardar-"So? U have writen outside"ALL CARDS ACCEPTED





how would you frighten a Korean man ?Ans- Give Him Dhaniya bcoz dhaniya = koreandarr





A: Meet my wife Tina. B- I know her. A-How? B-We were caught sleeping 2gather. A -WTH? B-10 yrs ago,in the history class





Dur se dekha to ek sher aa raha tha, dur se dekha to ek sher aa raha tha, to main paas gaya hi nahi.





which is the most arrogant animal ? its Goat? why ? it always says "main main main"





Ek baar sher aur zebra main ladai hui. zebra jeet gaya. Why ? Bcoz zebra has black belts





Why isn't Akshay Kumar 's wife a big star as he is? Bcoz Twinkle Twinkle little star





Ek kana kisi Ladki ko Propose kare to konsa geet gayega? Ans- 1 najar se b Pyar hota hai, Maine suna hai..





Teacher: tum bade ho kar kya karoge ? Santa: shadi. Teacher:Nahi, mera matlab kya banoge.? Santa:''Daddy''





What did Jerry mouse sing when it saw a piece of cheese.? Ans -Tu "cheez" badi hai mast mast





what did the boy zoozoo say to the girl zoozoo? Ans - chik chouk dhik pph teee peeepuu koooo. heiiii heeee hheeei





ek ladke ko holi khelni rehti hai.Wo bohot mehnat karta hai.Why ? bcoz mehnat rang lati hai





Teri palke hai bhigi bhigi... Teri palke hai bhigi bhigi.. Chiggy Wiggy...Chiggy Wiggy...Chiggy Wiggy..





Which is faster, hot or cold? Ans -Hot -- because you can catch a cold!





Naukrani-"Chotu ne Cockroach Kha Lia hai."Malkin-"Call Doctor Fast"Naukrani-"Don't worry,Maine Chotu Ko BAYGON Pila dia hai."




I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"





hum do sur mein gaate hain, that means , hum "be"-sure hain (be = 2)





Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?





What do you call an ant that likes to be alone? An independ-ant





Inspired by hollywood flick 'Snakes on a train', we, in bollywood must have 'Eunuchs on a train'.





वडिल-जर तू परत नापास जालस तर मला बाबा म्हनू नकोस.काही दिवसानंतर.वडिल- बाळ.तुजा रिजल्ट काय लागला?मुलगा-सोड ना रमेश,काही विचारू नकोस





What do people in Sahara desert say? "Long time, no sea!"





What do u call a very fast Ant ? Ans - Cheeti Usha





How will you wish Nandan Nilekani on his b'day? ID Mubarak





Who is the boy who has permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch them too ? life-buoy





Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept





Love & friendship walking in a village. Love falls in a well.Why ? bcoz love is blind.f'ship also jumps inside. why ?bcoz he wants to swim





If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?





Santa is not sleeping with his wife these days,Why? bcoz somebody had told him that its bad to sleep with married women





Computer field ke ladke ki gaali- Sale infinite loop,Dharti pe undefined symbol,Virus k bache,Bewakufi ki hardcopy,Volatile aadmi





A-Why are you crying? B-The elephant is dead. A: Was he your pet? B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave





How did the telephone operator propose to his girlfriend? Ans- He gave her a ring.





Which food grain in this world is a self proclaimed Homosexual? Ans- Its Wheat ..( Gay-Hu)





Q. What do Geeks love to wear? A. Software





Q: Which town in Punjab is always underwater? A: Jalanadhar (Jal-andar)





Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A - Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

Compilation of PJs - 7

Baby mosquito came back after its 1st time flying. Dad: How do u feel son? BabyM: it wz wonderful! every1 was clapping 4 me





मुलगा- तुझी सॅंन्डल छान आहे.मुलगी(रागाने)-काढु का मग? DAY-2 मुलगा-तुझी सॅंन्डल छान आहे.मुलगी-काढु का मग?मुलगा-स्कर्टही फारच छान आहे




राम & रावणाचे युद्ध सुरु असते.काही वेळाने रावण म्हणतो-"बास आता" राम-"घाबरला का?" रावण-"नाही रे,५ वाजलेत, मला शिंचन बघायचय"




मास्तर- व्याकरणातील ३ लिंगॆ कोनति?बंडया-पुल्लिग,स्त्रिलिन्ग,नपुसकलिन्ग मास्तर-उदाहरण सांग.बंडया-तो फ़ळा,ति शाळा आणि ते मास्तर





बंडू- एकदा मी संडासला गेलो तर संडासात वाघ होता. पांडू- मग ? बंडू- मी त्याला म्हणालो,"तू करून घे निवांत. माझी चड्डीतच झालीये"





सूर्याच्या गाडीला काय म्हणतात? संस्कार(सन्स-कार)!





Q: How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers? Bcoz they both "practice" their professions.





What is opposite of Enrique Iglesias?Ans-Nelly Furtado bcoz Enrique says "Dont turn off the lights" &Nelly says "Turn off the lights"





B la thandi Kaa wajarte ? Bcoz B AC madhe asato





माझ्या मुलीचा मुका घेताना तुला काही वाटलं नाही का?’ संतापानं थरथरत गोविंदरावांनी बंडूला विचारलं. बंडू म्हणाला,‘‘वाटलं ना,खूप बरं वाटलं!





My new year resolution ? Its 1600 x 768





२ जुळ्या भावांपैकी एक मरतो. काही दिवसांनंतर दुसरा भाऊ रस्त्याने जात असताना त्याला एक बाई विचारते, काय रे, तू मेलास कि तुझा भाऊ ?





There's some problem with MySQL. Can i use YourSQL ?





A boy throws a bottle of Bournvita.A cat sees it & takes d bottle of bournvita & buries it under the ground.why? 'CAT-BURIES' Bournvita





अनुपम खेरला वर्ष संपताना मुलगी झाली तर तिचं नाव काय असेल? वर्षा अ खेर





गुरुजी- मुलांनो आज मी खुश आहे. आज मी बाप झालो आहे. ओळखा पाहू मी तुमच्यासाठी काय आणले आहे ? बंड्या - खरवस





सेलेब्रिटी- जो लोकांनी आपल्याला ओळखावं म्हणून खूप मेहनत करतो आणि सेलिब्रिटी बनल्यावर लोकांनी ओळखू नये म्हणून काळा चष्मा लावून फिरतो





Has anyone heard the joke about butter? I won't tell you, it might spread





1st father- माझा मुलगा स्विमींग पुलमधे माशासारखा तरंगतो.2- माझा मुलगा पुलमधे हवेसारखा तरंगतो.3-माझा मुलगा अंथरुणातच स्विमींग पुल तयार करतो




gravity चा शोध न्यूटनच्या फार आधी एका भारतीयाने लावला होता. पण दुर्दैवाने तो भारतीय नारळाच्या झाडाखाली उभा होता.





What is Beethoven doing in his grave? Ans - Decomposing





२ भिंती एकमेकांना काय म्हणतील ? चल कोपऱ्यात भेटू





२ तलवारी एकमेकांना काय म्हणतील ? चल धार मारून येवू





Q: Why does Jesus never lose data from a text editor? Ans- Bcoz Jesus saves.





शाम फुटबाल मौदानावर जातो. शाम-चेंडूला का मारतात? राम-ते गोल करत आहेत. शाम-चेंडू गोल तर आहे ना,अजून चेंडूला किती गोल करता





नॅनोच्या तिसऱ्या पिढीला काय म्हणाल.? सोडियम नायट्रेट. का? कारण NaNO3 हा सोडियम नायट्रेटचाच फॉम्युला आहे ना!





sardar was removing wheels from a car.A man asks: y r u removing wheel from ur car? sardar- PARKING FOR TWO WHEELERS ONLY





Whats a pakistani prostitute called ? Ans - La-hore!