Sunday, February 21, 2010

Compilation of PJs - 12

Sita k vanvaas jaane mein bahot badi seekh hai ! Ghar mein agar 3 - 3 saas hai to vanvaas hi thik hai !!





Climax if "Lagaan: by Rajnikant : 1 ball, 20 runs needed. Bowler bowls, Rajni hits, ball splits in 4 pieces. All pieces go for 6.India wins





Om Puri kidnapped by Taliban. Indian govt launched a mission to save him. Whats the mission called ? Ans : Sev Puri





Why are Indian husbands called "MADE OF SILVER"? bcoz Indian wives call their husband "A g" (Scientific Symbol for Silver)





मुलगी मुलाला:माझा होशील का? मुलगा: हो आणि मग मुलगी त्याला पिउन टाकते





Senior student during ragging says- "On your marriage I will kiss ur wife" Junior Replies - "I am going to marry ur SISTER"





1 premi ne apni premika ko valentine's day par goli kyu maari? bcoz he was a die hard fan of BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE





Why did the girl changed her name from Shruti to Shraxis? Ans: Because UTI bank is now Axis bank.





dil me ha hai.. hoton pe naa hai.. dil me haa hai.. hoton pe naa hai shashi kapoor kehta hai...mere paas maa hai...





What is the Height of Flirting? When your love letter starts with: "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN"





Insaniyat ko bread pe laga ke khaa jao Aakhir Insaniyat Naam Ki Bhi Koi "Cheese" Hoti Hai..





1 sardar doctor ko puchta hai, "plastic surgery ka kitna kharcha hoga?" dr-15 lakh. sardar-agar plastic me du to?





Jiske dil tut jate hai uska general knowledge weak q ho jata hai? Bcoz jab dil hi tut gaya, to phir 'GK' kya kare?





Ek aadmi marne vala hei to use kya khilaoge Ans :Birla White Cement "kyunki iske ander jaan hai.."




2 frnds go for dinner.But 1 of then doesn't eat. So other shows him a film & 2nd one start eating. Which film does he show ? Khaakee





Interviewer: The oldest animal in the world is ?Santa: Zebra Interviewer: How ? Santa: Coz its Black & White





Jar Dada Kondke ni 1 movie kadhli & ti marathi & hindi donhi language madhe release keli tr tiche naav kay asel? Ans-BADLA LOONGI




interviewer-Pani ke bina insaan kaise marega?Banta-Pani nahi hoga to insaan tairega kaise?Aur tairega nahi toh doob jayega





why is river rich ? Ans : Bcoz it has 2 banks.





whats the name of girl who is small & whose heart is also small ? Ans : Asha, bocz Dil hai chhotasa, chhotisi Asha !





Y Wahida is in the same saree in the movie GUIDE?DevAnand said O mere humrahi meri baah thame chalna,badle duniya SAARI tum na badalna





50-50 Kms dur jab koi bacha oon oon karke rota hai to maa kehti hai beta aise mat roo varna bada ho kar HIMESH RESHHAMIYA ban jayega





In a park 2 lovers eating chips by looking in2 each others eyes. Gal-dear,wat r u thinkng rite now? Boy-I think U R eating more





Algebra law revised ! For 100s of years, people are doing algebra & guess what ? x is still unknown & xxx is wel konwn !





1 din 1 daku sardar ke ghar me ghus gaya aur pucha," sona kahan hain?"Sardar : Ullu ke pathey, Pura ghar khali hain, kahin par bhi so ja.





Santa saw a Beautiful Girl, he Went and Kissed her. Girl: STUPID what r u doing? Santa: F.Y. B.Com





3 sardar bedvar zoplele astat.Ekala jaga purat nahi & to jaminiwar zopto.Bedvarcha sardar uthun tyala mhanto "var yeun zop. Jaga zaliye"





what would you get if a cow dances? Ans : Guidance !





Agar aap 90 baar paap karenge to sirf 45 baar pakde jaayenge why ? bcoz sin 90 = cot 45





Q: ceilng fan is male or female? Ans:can be both.If it is khaitan its male n if its usha it has 2 b female





Nepali ko chirag mila. Jin ne 3 wishes puchi.Nepali-1.Ek bada bangla. 2-Usme 1 bahut aamir aadmi. 3-Ushka Gurkha humko banao





Raju chya ghari chor shiratat, tari Rajula tyachi Chinta nasate. Ka? Ans :- Hamam ase ghari, chinta kon kari?





wat will happen to gulshan groVer if he travelled at speed of light? ANS:he wil become gulshan groCer coz at speed of light V=C





Hotel vaishali madhe Zade ka wadhat nahit? karan tikde wadhayla waiter ahet.





Ekda Dharmendrachya ghari chor yeto. Dharmendra tyala chidun mhanto....'Kamine...' tar chor mhanto 'theek aahe..kami neto





khoon se likh diya har deewar pe uska naam. aur phir tod di wo har ek deewar. kyon ki spelling mistake ho gayi thi.





चिंटू : बाबा.मी उद्यापासून शाळेत जाणार नाही. वडील-का रे ? चिंटू -आज माझं वजन केलं शाळेत.काय माहीत? उद्या विकून टाकतील.





A-Aai kashi aahe? B-Aai bari aahe. A- Aani bahin kashi aahe? B-Ti pan bari aahe. A-Mag baba BARECH astil na?A-Nahi baba EKACH aahe





Ekda sagle dryfruits patte khelayla bastat.Tar sanga pahu patte kon vatel te ? 'PISTA'.. karan patte fakt tyalach pista yetat





Why soldiers at Indo-Pak border don't fight to each other ? Bcoz dhishum dhishum to pepsodent ka kaam hai !





Ek manus asto. Tyache pay chaukoni astat. Tar tyache nav kay asel? Ans : area of circle. ( paay r square!)





Ekda ek dost dada kondake na vicharto, 'Tumhi chaddi kuthe shivta?' Dada mhanatat, ' Phatel tithe!'





raagit lokkaani fakt gane shikvava. ka? karan tyanna fakt "raag" ch yeto.!





Why do engineers use Castrol as their Hair-oil? - Coz. it's not just oil, it's liquid engineering





Eka mulala tyache frnds 'telkat' mhnat astat.To chidto & blding warun udi marto.Pan to marat nahi.ka?Bcz tyani PARACHUTE lavlela aste




khoon se likh diya har deewar pe uska naam. aur phir tod di wo har ek deewar. kyon ki, spelling mistake ho gayi. 1





Boy-Will you dance with me? Girl-Sorry,I don't dance with kids. Boy- Oh! I didn't know that you are pregnant !





Ekda sagle prani aashadhi ekadashi la devlat chalat jatat.Pan fakt kombdi taxi gheun yete.ka?Bcoz upasala kombdi chalat nahi.





Ma'm : A for APPLE. Studnts: A for APPLE. Ma'm: JOR SE BOLO.. Studnts: JAI MATAA DI...





Ab toh zindagi ka maqsad hai unko apnana!Ab toh zindagi ka maqsad hai unko apnana!! Bolo "A for Apple, B for Banana"





Mera dil todkar tumne dil ko pahuchai thes! Mera dil todkar tumne dil ko pahuchai thes!!Tan theta is perpendicular to the base!





Tere pyaar me pagal ho gaya peter! Tere pyaar me pagal ho gaya peter.. pesh hai hero honda splendor ! 80 km per litre!





Laamb laamb... kaale kaale kay asate? Ans :- Laamb laamb... laal laal dhagyachi sawali





Laal laal... laamb laamb... kay asate? Ans :- Laal dhagyache reel





son-"mom,wats der to eat?"mom throws a stone at him.Son-"Wat this?i asked 4 sumthin 2 eat".mom-"hum EAT ka jawab pathar se dete hai"





Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed "guess who"? Ans : A divorce lawyer 1:41





aminichya duppat kay ? Ans : kutra. kase? jamin mhanje BHU Kutra mhanje BHUBHU





agar ek paratha and pizza pahadse ek saath feko ge to phele kaun pahunchega? Ans : pizza bcoz its fast food





Hoton Pe "Haan" Hai.. Dil Mein "Naa" Hain ... Shashi Kapoor Kehta Hai: "Mere Paas Maa Hai ...."





Alibaba guha shodhayala chalat nighato.Chalun chalun khupch damato.Shevati ekadachi guha yete.Tar to kay mhanel ? Ans : Aali baba 1




Sardar walking thru forest.He saw snake hanging on tree.He told snake"Aise lataknese kuch nahi hoga.Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye"





Whos Jo ? Ans : Kambakt Ishq. Bcoz "Kambakt Ishq hai Jo"





1 sardar was cleaning wall with ear buds. Why ? bcoz diwaron ke bhi kaan hote hain





if button is called GUNDI in marathi.what is chain called ? Ans : ghasargundi





Dhoni asks Irfan to bring a Pepsi.Irfan brings a bottle,but takes it directly to Sehwag.Why?Ans: Bcoz Sehwag is an opener





A beggar meets other beggar.A s/w engg meets other s/w engg.Both ask same Q to each other.Whats Q?Which platform are you working on?





A woodcutter went to city. Suddenly all gals started following him.Why? bcoz of The AXE EFFECT





Santa-We will soon become Rich. Banta-How?Santa-Tomorrow my Mathematics Teacher will teach me how 2 convert Paise to Rupees.





Ek saap ne mujhe Dus diya… Maine usko 5-5 ka chutta diya





Two cockroaches were admitted in a hospital. cockroach one said to the other ‘baygon. tera kya?’ the other replied ‘paragon’





If Da Vinci Coda was made in Punjabi ,what it would have been called ? Ans : Vinci Da Code











microsoft has launched a new software. its related with mahendra singh dhoni's batting. What is it called? ANS- MS Dhoni.





Ekda ek manus kanat bot gahalto tar to marto ka ? Ans : bcoz botiche nav titanic asto

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