Sunday, February 21, 2010

Compilation of PJs - 8

What do you call a man standing on urine? Ans - Superman (Suu-par-man )





Old people used to annoy at me at weddings by saying "ur next" Now, they stopped dat wen i started doing the same at funerals





1000 पानांचे पुस्तक वाचायला किती वेळ लागेल?लेखक-6 महिने.डॉक्टर-2 महिने.वकिल-1 महिना.अभियंता-परिक्षा कधि आहे?रात्रभरात वाचुन काढू





aasman ko alvida kaise karoge ? Ans - tata sky





10 times of Avatar = DashaAvatar





A guy got bitten by a king cobra in his house, but he didn't die why? Ans- bcoz he was in the LIVING room!





Atma meri marr gayi, mujhe lagti nahi hai pyaas, the time period of pendulum is independent of its mass!





Interviewer -bataiye PANI ke bina Insan kaise Marega? Sardar- PANI nai hoga to Insan Tairega kaise?Aur Tairega nahi to doob jayega





What's the height of Frustration Ans-A boxer trying to scratch his balls





चायनीज-आमच्याकडे एवढे दुध आहे कि नळातून दुध येते.अमेरिकन-आमच्याकडे एवढी दारू आहे की नळातून दारू येते.भारतीय-हे दोघे मराठीतून का बोलत आहेत?





whats d color of frequency?Ans-Purple.Unit of freq. is Hz ie 1/sec ie. par second.second is also caled as pal in hindi.so PARPAL





What did the policeman say when he arrested Hussey? Ans - Hussey to phasi !





Who is the only Aussie cricketer who always smiles,even if he is declared out? Ans - Hussey.





Santa apni jeb me patthar dale ghum raha tha.Banta-Aisa kyo kar rahe ho?Santa-Is duniya me jiski jeb bhari hai uski ki kadar hoti hai





What's Rajnikanth's gmail address? Ans- gmail@rajnikanth.com





Teacher-"Bazar me goliyan chal rahi hai" Translate in English. Santa-The Tablets r walking in the market.





What do you call a Person who is Afraid of Santa Claus? Ans - Claustrophobic!





A heartbroken elephant goes 2 park & sits on a see-saw.It breaks.so which song will he sing.?''see-saw''ho ya dil ho,aakhir toot jata hai!





Girl-Father, is it a sin to sleep with a boy? Father-No, But when u sleep with a boy, u actually don't "sleep"





boy went to electronics store.attendant-would u like to have a pocket calculator?boy:-no,i already know how many pockets i have.





Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife! Sardar: Wow! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!





In a Maths exam Sardar was continuously dancing! Why ? Bcoz someone told him that there is marks for every step!





मुलगी-मँडम, आकाशातून नेहमी पाऊस पडत असतो का?मँडम - नाही.मुलगी - तर मग विमानातून उड्या मारणारे छत्र्या का घेऊन येतात?





Who is the Brother of Santa Claus? Ans - Banta Claus





The Bachchan Family is planning for a sequel of Paa. The movie has been named Paa-Do





jab parrot hua dirty, parrot se boli maina , don't u worry surf excel hay na





शाम - फुटबाल मध्ये चेंडूला का मारतात? राम-"ते गोल करत आहेत" शाम- चेंडू गोल तर आहे ना,अजून चेंडूला किती गोल करता





What do you call Santa Clause's Helpers? Ans - SubOrdinate Clause





Patient - Doctor, everyone thinks I'm a liar. Doctor: I don't believe you.





What is taken from you before it is given to you? Ans - Its ur photo





Teacher- Whats d formula for water? Chintu-its H2 MgCl NaCl HNO3 HClO. Teacher- Whats dis? Chintu-Ye Municipality ka pani hai !





what wil u call it if ur cat brings tea for u? Ans -LIABILITY (lia-bili-tea)





Waiter gives bill to Sardar.Sardar-"Take my card."Waiter-"this is Ration Card."Sardar-"So? U have writen outside"ALL CARDS ACCEPTED





how would you frighten a Korean man ?Ans- Give Him Dhaniya bcoz dhaniya = koreandarr





A: Meet my wife Tina. B- I know her. A-How? B-We were caught sleeping 2gather. A -WTH? B-10 yrs ago,in the history class





Dur se dekha to ek sher aa raha tha, dur se dekha to ek sher aa raha tha, to main paas gaya hi nahi.





which is the most arrogant animal ? its Goat? why ? it always says "main main main"





Ek baar sher aur zebra main ladai hui. zebra jeet gaya. Why ? Bcoz zebra has black belts





Why isn't Akshay Kumar 's wife a big star as he is? Bcoz Twinkle Twinkle little star





Ek kana kisi Ladki ko Propose kare to konsa geet gayega? Ans- 1 najar se b Pyar hota hai, Maine suna hai..





Teacher: tum bade ho kar kya karoge ? Santa: shadi. Teacher:Nahi, mera matlab kya banoge.? Santa:''Daddy''





What did Jerry mouse sing when it saw a piece of cheese.? Ans -Tu "cheez" badi hai mast mast





what did the boy zoozoo say to the girl zoozoo? Ans - chik chouk dhik pph teee peeepuu koooo. heiiii heeee hheeei





ek ladke ko holi khelni rehti hai.Wo bohot mehnat karta hai.Why ? bcoz mehnat rang lati hai





Teri palke hai bhigi bhigi... Teri palke hai bhigi bhigi.. Chiggy Wiggy...Chiggy Wiggy...Chiggy Wiggy..





Which is faster, hot or cold? Ans -Hot -- because you can catch a cold!





Naukrani-"Chotu ne Cockroach Kha Lia hai."Malkin-"Call Doctor Fast"Naukrani-"Don't worry,Maine Chotu Ko BAYGON Pila dia hai."




I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"





hum do sur mein gaate hain, that means , hum "be"-sure hain (be = 2)





Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?





What do you call an ant that likes to be alone? An independ-ant





Inspired by hollywood flick 'Snakes on a train', we, in bollywood must have 'Eunuchs on a train'.





वडिल-जर तू परत नापास जालस तर मला बाबा म्हनू नकोस.काही दिवसानंतर.वडिल- बाळ.तुजा रिजल्ट काय लागला?मुलगा-सोड ना रमेश,काही विचारू नकोस





What do people in Sahara desert say? "Long time, no sea!"





What do u call a very fast Ant ? Ans - Cheeti Usha





How will you wish Nandan Nilekani on his b'day? ID Mubarak





Who is the boy who has permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch them too ? life-buoy





Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? A:) Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept





Love & friendship walking in a village. Love falls in a well.Why ? bcoz love is blind.f'ship also jumps inside. why ?bcoz he wants to swim





If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?





Santa is not sleeping with his wife these days,Why? bcoz somebody had told him that its bad to sleep with married women





Computer field ke ladke ki gaali- Sale infinite loop,Dharti pe undefined symbol,Virus k bache,Bewakufi ki hardcopy,Volatile aadmi





A-Why are you crying? B-The elephant is dead. A: Was he your pet? B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave





How did the telephone operator propose to his girlfriend? Ans- He gave her a ring.





Which food grain in this world is a self proclaimed Homosexual? Ans- Its Wheat ..( Gay-Hu)





Q. What do Geeks love to wear? A. Software





Q: Which town in Punjab is always underwater? A: Jalanadhar (Jal-andar)





Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A - Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

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